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 What are your thoughts on "bullying"

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Chrom
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PostSubject: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:03 pm

So for the past year or so there has been a lot of media and a big push to "stop bullying" lots of teen suicide being "linked" to bullying and I was just wondering what every ones thoughts on this topic were. I have a pretty firm stance, but I would like to see what others have to say about it.

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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:39 pm

Yes, bullying is bad.
However, the "crackdown" has gotten out of control in some regards. It seems like anytime someone is called a name on a 4th grade playground it's YOU ARE A BULLY!!!!1111

I know it's a tough line to draw, but there should be some differential between the kid who is constantly picking on and/or physically abusing another kid and the typical playground shenanigans.

I think most people have been bullied to some extent at one point in their lives. However, for me, it made me a stronger person. I got into sports, re-evaluated my friends, started to exercise and lift weights and live a much more confident and healthier lifestyle today.

On a semi-related issue, I believe there should be very different punishments for the person starting a fight than the person protecting themself. I got suspended several times between 7-9th grade for fighting, and every single time I was either attacked first or was preventing something from being stolen from me. I've always thought the punishiments given out were bullcrap. I was pretty much raised that if I throw the first punch, I am going to get my ass kicked at home. However, I am an idiot to just take everyone's shit.

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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:49 am

^^^^^^^
1000% agree with you. I had a similar problem in high school myself. I was a really small kid (i didnt even hit 5 foot till the end of my junior year.) So alot of guys thought cause i was small they could just pick on me when ever. So i always stood up to them and got into a lot of fights. Which is what got me started in martial arts at that point. Fortunatly for a few things:

1: my parents never grounded me for any of those fights cause the first thing my dad would say is who threw the first punch and it was always them. He also would plea to the princibal that this is unfair for me to be suspended cause i was defending myself and usually the guy was a nice bit bigger than me. but i was still suspended.

2. I had a big growth spurt that summer and went from 5'-5'7 and halfway through my senior year went up to 5'10. safe to say when i became there size they didnt want to bully me any more. But i called them out in front of alot of our class mates and there friends just to give a little humble pie to them. They wouldnt do anything about it, they just took it.
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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:37 am

Not everyone handles bullying the same or has the same psyche so comparing our experiences to others isn't really fair.

I got my masters in school guidance counseling and can tell you that bullying is real and legit and imo there is no stance too hard.

I dont think there is much of a line at all. If you are doing something to make someone uncomfortable or upset you should stop or you should be stopped.
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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:51 pm

Obviously I feel it's wrong ,but I do think political correctness has gone mad. I was bullied in elementary school ,but around junior high I got bigger, stronger, and tired of taking people's crap.

I won every fight I was in and all were started by someone else, luckily and somewhat funnily besides the fact that I was at least 6 ft and had long ass hair, bright ass Hawaiin shirts, and a fucked up beard under my chin noone else ever seemed to notice.

I agree that it is fucked up in regards to there rule's they essentially say to take it and not fight back. I don't really think there should be tolerance towards it being mean to someone for no reason is just being a dick and I don't really think we need those people.

I also hate how they say to just ignore it. Some problems are solved by not acknowledging them ,but others just get worse. I also think political correctness has become it's own form of bullying.
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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:02 pm

I somewhat disagree with Fisk, in that there is always a line. I believe that a little bit of adversity is good for everyone. And there is definitely a difference between calling someone a nerd on the playground and publically humiliating someone day after day for being "a fag".

Looking back on my school days, it is very clear in my mind who the bullies were. The problem is (at least at my wife's school) all problems have to be dealt with through the exact same process and filed the exact same way.

As much as I agree with setting up a process to eliminate bullying, I think an equal effort should be spent educating the "victims" on how to deal with bullying.

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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Sat Oct 27, 2012 9:20 pm

I agree with Fist AND stock, in that they're both right. Not everybody is wired the same, and the circumstances that make us who we are at any given point in our lives aren't the same from one person to the next either. Similar, possibly. But, people, because of how they're wired, will act and react differently than one another in any given situation. So I don't think a one size fits all "line" with a defined violation or behavior works. But, there is still a line. The line is when you intentionally make someone else feel intimidated or uncomfortable just for the sake of doing it. That's what bullying truly is. Tackling someone else at recess during a game of smear the queer isn't bullying. Doing it in the bathroom because it's funny is.

Also, and I think a lot of people either don't take this into account or just don't know it; bullies swap roles. So when someone bullies you, 99.99% of the time there's someone in that bullies life who treats him that way. Feelings of helplessness become pent up aggression which comes out later on against someone smaller, round and round we go. So IMO by taking what stock said regarding how to deal with bullying and applying it not only to nerds but to bullies themselves, you can reach a lot more people without seeming like a bully yourself. It sort of eliminates that whole "Yeah the teacher got me now but I'll get you later" aspect.

Personally, the only way I dealt with bullies is by telling them to go fuck themselves and getting my ass kicked. Dance

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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Mon Oct 29, 2012 2:50 pm

Pretty sure playing "smear the queer" would be considered "bullying" at my wife's school.

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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:08 pm

Smear the queer was fucking awesome. Maybe with a different name it'd be more acceptable.

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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Mon Oct 29, 2012 10:47 pm

I think the biggest problem with dealing with bullying issues is like DEP said; what constitutes bullying, and what is just normal, youthful behavior?

By definition, a bully is "a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people".
Does calling one of your friends a stupid asshole fit this description? How about laughing at another kid for taking a kickball to the nuts?
No. Of course not. But the problem is that a lot of school employees want to throw the word "bully" around so freely that- by their own definition of the word- every single child in the school can be labeled as a bully to some degree. It just seems counterproductive to me to abuse the term in such a way simply because the word carries so much weight and helps the teacher get the results that they want.

IMO most true bullies can be spotted a mile away. They just have that look of enjoyed hatred and seem to always be on the lookout for someone or something to torture.
In truth, bullies are always bullies, even as adults. Certainly not in the wedgies and name-calling capacity, but in other ways that go unnoticed. How about that guy who screams at the pizza delivery guy for being 10 minutes late? Or the inmate who demands the desserts of weaker prisoners?

Bullies don't stop bullying, they just eventually have limited targets. I just wish teachers and school employees would spend more time trying to recognize legitimate bullying and less time seemingly trying to hit some kind of bully round-up quota.
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PostSubject: Re: What are your thoughts on "bullying"    Wed Oct 31, 2012 12:53 am

Shit man I remember we weren't even allowed to play tag at my school.
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