UFC & MMA News, Updates, Discussion & Virtual Betting
 
UFC & MMA NewsMMA RankingsHomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Latest topics
Poll
Mayweather Vs. McGregor who wins?
Mayweather wins KO
17%
 17% [ 1 ]
Mayweather wins UD
50%
 50% [ 3 ]
Mayweather wins SD
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Mayweather wins DQ
17%
 17% [ 1 ]
McGregor wins KO
17%
 17% [ 1 ]
McGregor wins UD
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
McGregor wins SD
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
McGregor wins DQ
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Draw
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 6
Most active topic starters
Chrom
 
Triggerman99
 
drainbamage
 
Gecko
 
9Teen_AT4
 
Krieger
 
butterknifeninja
 
stock
 
samger2
 
FistK
 
Most active topics
The WTF Thread
The Walking Dead
Horrible Facebook Posts...
Fantasy League Season 4
Introduce Yourself Get $500 Standard Cash!
Random video of the week
The Ultimate Fighter: Team Jones vs Team Sonnen *Spoilers*
The Ultimate Fighter Rousey vs Tate *spoilers*
Crank up the Tunes!
The Ultimate Fighter 20 Discussion Thread (*SPOILERS*)
Affiliates
September 2017
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930 
CalendarCalendar
Similar topics
Affiliates
free forum


Share | 
 

 Trojan Introduces ‘No One’s Pleasure’ Condoms For Bitter, Resentful Couples

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Chrom
Hall of Famer
Hall of Famer
avatar

Posts : 5917
Standard Cash : 20118
Reputation : 257
Join date : 2011-07-06
Age : 36
Location : Minnesota

PostSubject: Trojan Introduces ‘No One’s Pleasure’ Condoms For Bitter, Resentful Couples   Tue Sep 06, 2011 6:56 pm


The lack of expiration dates are said to heighten both partners’ stress over whether the condoms will be effective.
Quote :
PRINCETON, NJ—Contraceptive manufacturer Trojan unveiled its new line of “No One’s Pleasure” condoms Wednesday, the first prophylactic specifically designed to intensify sexual dissatisfaction among bitter and resentful couples.

“We’ve always offered consumers a choice when it comes to protection, and we wanted to give emotionally distant partners an option that suits their lack of intimacy,” said Jim Daniels, vice president of marketing at Trojan. “That’s why we’ve developed the only condoms clinically proven to exploit performance anxiety, heighten discomfort levels, and prolong the petty arguments that allow couples to bicker needlessly all night long.”

According to a Trojan press release, No One’s Pleasure condoms feature a quarter-inch-thick layer of non-lubricated latex with a unique abrasive texture that creates a variety of stinging sensations “for both him and her.” The company statement goes on to explain that the product magnifies personal insecurities and awakens deep-seated, unresolved relationship issues that are “sure to raise passions and quicken your pulse.”

The cutting-edge prophylactics are also extremely tapered at their base and tip, which Trojan engineers said induces premature ejaculation and provides longer-lasting hostility and alienation.

Lead designer Benjamin Walton said the bulky, ill-fitting sheaths greatly constrict the movement of any man who wears them and when used correctly are 98 percent effective at preventing vaginal penetration.

“These condoms feel extremely unnatural, and their sandpaper-like texture is so rough and gritty it rubs everyone raw,” Walton said.

Trojan confirmed that No One’s Pleasure condoms will be available in “Frigid Touch,” “Extremely Oversensitive,” and “Ultra-Chafe: Super Dry,” and will cost $20 for a three-pack, a price researchers found perfect for instigating squabbles over who has to pay.

Many will be sold in boxes containing fewer condoms than the packaging indicates in order to arouse feelings of suspicion and jealousy and help contemptuous couples get in the right mood for unfulfilling and empty sex.

“Just by making the wrappers a little more difficult to open we raised frustration levels by nearly two-thirds.” Walton said. “And our most successful prototypes resulted in partners either not having sex or having really angry sex for maybe five seconds.”

Later this week Trojan will begin promoting the new product with a nationwide marketing campaign, running print ads that feature a silhouette of two people facing away from each other, arms crossed, and the product’s official slogan, “Let’s Just Get This Over With.”

Consumers who participated in focus groups for No One’s Pleasure were impressed by the condoms’ ability to both sustain current animosities and rejuvenate old ones.

“These things are great,” said test subject

Jerry Morelli, who explained that the condoms have helped him find new ways to loathe and disparage his wife of 15 years. “If I’m not gonna enjoy myself, I want to make damn sure she doesn’t either.”
Source

lol!

________________________________________________

"Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. Everyone knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground. Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?"
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mogal
Sparring Partner
Sparring Partner
avatar

Posts : 187
Standard Cash : 3785
Reputation : 14
Join date : 2011-08-16
Location : Vancouver Island

PostSubject: Re: Trojan Introduces ‘No One’s Pleasure’ Condoms For Bitter, Resentful Couples   Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:55 pm

uhm, bots are at it over here now... oh wait... LOL

Thats awesome! There's nothing better then ANGRY SEX!!!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.wix.com/imogal/mogal
 
Trojan Introduces ‘No One’s Pleasure’ Condoms For Bitter, Resentful Couples
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Condoms..............
» SBA Calendar 2012
» Rear shock protective coating
» What are you guys storing in your FJ's?
» No such thing as a dead rubber

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The MMA Standard :: Off-Topic/Intros/Help-
Jump to: